The Mama Mindset
Grab a coffee and read along with me!
Hey Mama!
Let’s be honest for a moment. As wonderful as motherhood is in many unique ways it can also be draining- physically, mentally, and emotionally. There always seems to be so much on our plate at any given moment and sometimes it can be difficult to cope with it all. So how do we manage it?
While there are many different ways that we can (and need to) cope with the trials and tribulations of motherhood I want to talk about cultivating the right mindset. Why does mindset matter? Our mindset is something that is within our control. Finding and focusing on the aspects of motherhood that are within our control can give us an avenue to help make our days brighter, especially during the hard times. Our mindset also controls how we perceive and react to situations throughout our day so cultivating the right mindset will ensure that we are responding to our days the way we desire to instead of being subject to the effects of our emotions.
Unfortunately throughout the years we have developed into a society that has a tendency to make motherhood out to be a negative concept. We complain about the phases of childhood, the house to maintain, the food to be made, and all the things that need our attention. Frankly, all that negativity just drains us of being able to enjoy even the small parts of our day that we should be able to choose to enjoy.
But what if we changed our mindset on all the trials and tribulations that encompass motherhood? What if we changed our mindset on the day in and day out mundane tasks that go into caring for a family? What if we changed our mindset on how we looked at motherhood? The old saying “Mind over matter” is timeless for a reason. So how do we do it?
- Set your mind on the positive or joy.
This may seem difficult, especially if your mind tends to gear toward the negative but looking for the positive in any situation can make all the difference. When your child is clinging to you all day everyday instead of having the mindset of ” I can’t get a minute to myself” or “Why won’t they leave me alone?” Try shifting your mindset to a positive: “I’m the one person they want to be with right now” or “I get the opportunity to make a difference for them today.” or “There will come a day they don’t want to be with me and I want to soak in all these times while I can.” Even just shifting your mindset and thought in that moment can make a tremendous difference in how you are feeling and how you are able to manage the situation.
When feeling overwhelmed with housework, instead of thinking “ugh, more laundry to fold” or “another load of dishes to clean”. Try “I’m grateful for being able to provide clean clothes to my family” and “I’m grateful for being able to cook nutritious meals to fuel my families bodies”. Mindset changes can turn your negative mood into a positive one which just overall makes you feel better!!
I want to add that choosing Joy does not always equal being happy. When the term “joyful” is used throughout the Bible it is rarely paired with happiness. Joy is a choice that you make. You can choose to do the hard things and do them with a sense of joy or you can choose to complain and foster negativity. Which one do you want to control your life? Which one to you want to model to your children and to others?
2. Gratitude.
Gratitude has become a popular topic lately. Reminding ourselves about all that we are grateful for in our lives has such a positive benefit to our mindset and our soul. These benefits are even being studied and found in research. An easy way to utilize gratitude to help shift your mindset in motherhood is to list 3 things everyday for which you are grateful. Leave that list out for the day so you can see it. Whenever you are having a difficult moment add something to the list. In doing this you are intentionally switching your mindset from the negative to the positive. See how we just shifted back to setting your mindset?
3. Surround Yourself with Encouragement
Have you ever heard the phrase ” You are who you spend time with?”. Oftentimes we end up taking on the same personalities and thoughts of those who we spend the most time with. This includes accounts we follow on social media, music we listen to, movies and TV shows that we watch, material that we read. Whatever we spend time pouring our mind into will eventually mold how we think and act. Be intentional about the types of people and the media you surround yourself with throughout the day. Now of course there are times that you cannot control the family or coworkers that you are with throughout the day, however, you can control the other media you allow into your life.
Read encouraging books or articles, only follow social media accounts that have a positive influence on you or encourage you in the ways in which you need, remove accounts that drain your mental energy or cause unneeded stress, listen to uplifting music, watch funny or wholesome tv shows or movies that will boost your mood. Be selective of what you allow into your life and into your mind as it will eventually impact your soul.
4. Figure out what is causing your stress.
This one can be tricky as it will often involve more than just one area of your life. A great strategy in helping to shift your mindset is to list off the things in your life that are causing stress. Is it work, health, family, finances? List them out and then choose 1-3 things that are within your control. MAKE A PLAN on how you are going to start improving the situation so that it is not causing undue stress. Write that plan out somewhere that you can easily see it every day so that it reminds you and helps to keep you accountable. This strategy allows you to take control of something that otherwise makes you feel like it’s controlling you. See how we are switching our mindset from being controlled to being the ones in control?
Of the things in your list that are outside of your control, let them go and give it to God. There’s something so freeing about realizing that we don’t have to control everything. Being able to step back from a problem or obstacle or situation with the understanding that you don’t have to fix it gives a breath of fresh air you probably didn’t know you needed. So evaluate what is within your control and what’s not in your control (and be realistic about those things—you cannot control another persons behavior no matter how hard you try), make plans for what you can add changes to and give the rest to God!
Tip: Once you are finished with your list have your plan set, toss that list into the trash and make yourself a nice hot beverage! Don’t keep it out as a reminder of everything that is stressing you out!
5. Bible verses
Something that truly helps me in keeping my mindset is to read relatable Bible verses. God has a knack for giving us words and phrases that can help to keep us on the right track! In motherhood I often times find myself needing the reminder that even the mundane tasks of doing the dishes for the third time that day is holy work that will likely go unnoticed by others but not by God. In the same sense, your mindset, and how spend time cultivating it, also does not go unnoticed by God. He sees the unseen efforts we put into our mind body and soul. So even if no one else in the household notices, you will and God will. Take heart in knowing that.
Colossians 3:2
Set your minds on things that are above and not on things that are on earth.
Philippians 2: 3-4
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourself. Let each of you look not only to his own interest but also to the interests of others.
Romans 8: 5
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things according to the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on things of the Spirit.
If you other tips and tricks that help to cultivate your mindsets in motherhood I’d love to hear them!
Alycia